The musings of a totally purple obsessed crafter!!!! You name it, if it's purple I WANT IT!!! I'm a rubber stamping card maker who dabbles with making ATC's, scrap booking and more recently art journaling and canvases! I love to distress and I love to make a mess!!! I'm also pretty obsessed with Christmas and make a lot of cards for the occasion. Check out my blog below and leave a comment if you like what you see ....... thanks for stopping by
Friday, 23 May 2014
Well the mild cold which I received as a birthday gift decided to get serious as the week wore on and I've been knocked sideways a little. I've not had the energy (or inspiration) to hit my table of craftiness despite having un-inked rubber from my vacation/Birds in the Barn shopping/Birthday to play with.
Normally I even schedule the Friday Funny on Thursday .... in case I sleep in! but I've not even done that this week so, here I am, on Friday morning with no crafting to share, a snotty nose and looking through my e-mails for a suitable Friday Funny - here's hoping normal service will resume as soon as possible!!
The Friday Funny has been brought to you by, Liz, she's in the draw!! Hope you will find yourself smiling at one or more of the items below - ENJOY
WhyILike Retirement ! Question: How many days in
a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question:When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the
Question:How many retirees
to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question:What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get
Question:Why don't retirees
mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.
Question:Why do retirees
count pennies? Answer:They are the only
ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and
refuses to retire? Answer:NUTS!
Question:Why are retirees
so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Ans wer: They know that as soon as they do, one of
their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question:What do retirees
call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.
Question:What is the best way to describe
retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question:What's the biggest
advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your
Question:Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite.... QUESTION: What do you do
all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING.....
Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.... 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked...
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs
and have fun finding them.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I
got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the
Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6,
maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can
remember who they are! Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!
And, if you are in the mood for another giggle then Hettiecraft has a rather cheeky F.F., check out this link!!!