Friday, 4 March 2016

Welcome to the start of the weekend and the Friday Funny

Morning all,

I'd like to welcome my newest follower, NikkiC, thanks for joining me, hope some of you will stop by her blog at some point too.

Action packed post alert - with lots going on including crafting, birthday wishes and the F.F. which comes with a bonus video this week too, calm yourselves - this isn't going to happen every week but I saw this and thought of you (all)!

Been a funny old week again at the Purple Palace with lots going on - downhill run at the decorating which should finally get finished today, with the fitting of the new carpet that we've had since September and have been treating as a roundabout!!! Yesterday we hit IKEA for some bookcases and accoutrement's! Always nice to have something new to play with. Once the carpet fitters have been and done their funky "thaing" today then it will be on-line to order the new furniture for next day delivery (desk, filing cabinet) and then - BINGO, all done!! Woo Hoo. I'm away for a few days next week so, if it's not all done by the time I go then guess what my dear hubby will be doing whilst I'm away?!?!?! Bet you can't, can you? Of course if we DO finish it all and the weather is nice then he'll be out in the garden taming the winter wilderness instead! I think crafting with a pal beats either of his options!


My card
The front of the envelope and the insert
The back of the envelope and both the front and back of the card
Materials used:
  • White C6/A2, 250gsm, card blank and matching sized envelope
  • Two pieces of card 9 x 13cm
  • Snippets of green card (from the Costco pack of double sided that I've had for aeons!)
  • Black card cut to mat the panel for the front, using a 1.6mm border
  • Low tack tape used to mask off a section which was then coloured using Distress Inks in twisted citron and lucky clover to simulate "ombre" and an egg shaped sponge
  • Memory Box stencil through which I sponged the Distress Ink in peacock feathers
  • See D's sentiment stamped using Brilliance pearlescent olive ink
  • Hero Arts star stamped using Memento bamboo leaves ink including on to a snippet of white card which I then fussy cut out
  • Stampendous "wire star border" image stamped using Memento bamboo leaves on to the green snippet
  • Paper Artsy splatter image stamped using Delicata golden glitz ink




I'll be entering this for the following challenges:-
  1. Fusion - March 3rd challenge - LUCKY DAYS - USE SKETCH or INSPIRATION PHOTO or BOTH .... I used the clover/lucky and colour element and picked up on the star from sketch and, actually, I used a sketch from a previous challenge ... Feb 18th's challenge
  2. The Card Concept - challenge No. 50 - SHAMROCKS, PATTERNS and GREENS ..... I used greens and patterns and one of my greens was lucky clover!!! Style No. 2 - Clean and Layered
  3. Stampin' Royalty - challenge No. 319 - GOING GREEN (recycling or using green) 
  4. D.L. Art Thankful Thursday - challenge No. 175 - FROG and/or USE GREEN
  5. Curtain Call - March 1st challenge - KEY LIME INSPIRATION.


  

And now for the Friday Funny ... coming right at you this week, courtesy of Marsha, so you ALL KNOW WHO TO BLAME!!! There's some disguised bad language in this F.F., if easily offended then please do not read on.

Heteronyms - this is brilliant

English, what a language! Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.   A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

You think English is easy?    I think a retired English teacher was bored.. THIS IS GREAT!   Read all the way to the end...! 

1)  The bandage was wound around the wound.

2)  The farm was used to produce produce.

3)  The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4)  We must polish the Polish furniture.

5)  He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6)  The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7)  Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.  

10)  I did not object to the object.

11)  The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12)  There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13)  They were too close to the door to close it.

14)  The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15)  A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16)  To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17)  The wind was too strong for me to wind the sail.

18)  Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19)  I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20)  How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let ' s face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same as no chance, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

Today's word is ..................Fluctuations (I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.)

I was at my bank today; there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was very irritated ... She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you European people too"

And, as if that one F.F. wasn't enough, here's a bonus video .. if animals were fat! ENJOY this too





Have a great weekend .. I'll leave you with a birthday wish, to pal's Jan (today) and Wynneth (tomorrow)


JAN and WYNNETH

13 comments:

LindaB said...

Morning Kathy
Thank you for making me laugh so much at the fat animal video, just loved the zebras. Have a good weekend Cheers x x

Barb said...

A fantastic post Kathy. I really did have a good laugh. Going to send a link to my bestie. I know shell laugh too. My favourites were the zebras.

Your card is lovely Kathy. Enjoy your trip. Barbxx

lilian said...

Afternoon mate.

Love the F F, Great card . Love the colour.

Lilian

Lauren Hatwell said...

Fab card. I LOVE that colour combination. Great Friday Funny too matey. Lx

SARN said...

Just LOVE yr star card & envelope.

Great FF & video too mate. Laughed out loud!

Hope the dex get finished asap.

Hugs, Sarn xxx

Leigh Penner said...

Okay, I almost laughed out loud at that last joke -- which would have been bad, as the class I'm supervising is writing a test! LOL!
Very fun post and card!

Sharon said...

Your card is fabulous. Love all the elements on it!
Oh my! This is the funniest funnies ever! I laughed out loud at the absurdities of our language, not to mention that joke and again at the zebras in the video - Priceless!
Keep 'em coming!
Sharon xx

Shannon McComb said...

This is lovely!! Love all the elements and how you took the time in the inside of the card and on the envelope!! Awesome!:)
Thank you so much for joining us over at The Card Concept!

Kerin said...

I love your wonderful assortment of patterns and textures! Thanks for joining us this week at The Card Concept :)

Monika/Buzsy said...

Fantastic card Kathy. Love the good luck words making up the focal panel. The distressed images look great. Thank you for playing along with us at Curtain Call Inspiration Challenge.

Marisa said...

Perfect St. Patrick's Day card :) Thanks for joining us at The Curtain Call.

SmilynStef said...

Love how you stamped the inside & the envelope ... so very glad you joined us at Fusion Card Challenge.

Jeanne J. said...

What a fun post! Nope ! English is tricky!! Reminds me of Shock the Monkey - monkey with the monkey, rat on the rat etc. And three different ways to spell their, they're, there.. lol! Love you card - fun stenciling and pretty gold!