Friday, 9 September 2016

Another Friday? Must be time for the Friday Funny ..


My regular readers will recall that I swap ATC materials with a buddy on the Isle of Skye and, earlier this week, I got my latest batch of materials. Yesterday I set to work on them and this is what I came up with ..

I struggled with the stylised flower and enormous leaves but ....
see below ....
And here's how it got this way .. 

Layer One, brayered paints
Layer Two - Patterned card stuck on to my brayered panel
Layer Three - A thin layer of gesso to mute the colours so they don't detract from my focal image
Layer Four was stamping, Layer Five was the addition of the flower
Layer Six was the addition of dimension with the partial and "curled" flowerflower
You can see the "curled" petals of the second layer just a little better here
With the matting I  think that totals SEVEN layers!!!
Materials provided:
  • Piece of hexagon patterned card and a piece of white card which had been stamped with three of the same hydrangea image
Additionally I used the following:
  • ATC blank
  • Snippet of brown card, cut to ATC size
  • Snippet of white card cut slightly smaller than ATC size and on to which I brayered fresco paints in Bora Bora and South Pacific, Deco Art metallic bronze and Pebeo iridescent yellow green acrylic paints
  • I cut out a piece of the hexagon card and adhered to my brayered card panel using Cosmic Shimmer glue
  • Once dry I coated the entire piece with a thin coat of white gesso, to mute the brightness of the colours
  • Dimensions faux brick image stamped using Ranger Archival watering can ink
  • Whilst that dried I coloured two of the images provided, using alcohol markers and fussy cut out, one in its entirety and a selected panel of another, cutting deeper in to each petal so I could curl the petal to simulate real life petals
  • I stamped the JOFY sentiment on to a piece of white card and cut out in chunks before running through my Xyron sticker maker in order to attach to my ATC
  • Once my flower was attached I placed the second (curled) piece over the top using Cosmic Shimmer glue
  • Using a white Faber Castel Big Pitt pen in white I doodled a border
  • Using a black Faber Castell Pitt pen "S" thickness I drew around the sentiment
  • Stardust stickles to highlight the blooms and bricks

I'll be entering the above make for the following challenges:
  1. Crafting from the heart - challenge No. 126 - ANYTHING GOES
  2. Through The Craft Room Door - September 6th challenge - ANYTHING GOES
  3. Our Daily Bread - challenge No. 278 - DOTS or DASHES (I drew dots around the outside of my make)
  4. Crafty Cardmakers - challenge No. 172 - LAYER IT UP - Seven Layers! I checked the rules, an ATC appears to fit the bill too!
  5. Simon Says Stamp - Wednesday challenge September 7th - STAMP IT

I shall be sending her these materials and will be most interested to see what she makes of them.

You can see my ATC on the right

And now for the Friday Funny .... this week's laugh is provided by my pal, SandraT ... you're in the draw mate!


Actual call centre conversations!

Customer:     'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;
                   can you help?'
Operator:      'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer:     'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator:     'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

Samsung Electronics

Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that  
                      I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and  
                     telephone Jack before
 cleaning. Now, can you give me the
                      number for Jack?'
Operator:      'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

RAC Motoring Services
Caller:         'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
                  traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:     'Does the policy name give you a clue?'


Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England ,
do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

Directory Enquiries
Caller:  'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller:             'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ..'


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'


Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer:             'OK.'
Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer:             'No.'
Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:             'No.'
Tech Support:      'OK, sir Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'


Tech Support:      'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can

you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer:             'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'


Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'


This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............
Needless to
 say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ...'
Operator:         'What sort of trouble?'
Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator:         'Went away?'
Caller:              'They disappeared'
Operator:         'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:              'Nothing.'
Operator:         'Nothing??'
Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller:              'How do I tell?'
Operator:        'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:              'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller:              'What's a monitor?'
Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
                         Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:               'I don't know.'
Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
                         the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller:              'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
                         plugged into the wall..
Caller:              'Yes, it is.'
Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
                         there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller:               'No.'
Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
                          find the other cable.'
Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
                          the back of your computer..'
Caller:               'I can't reach.'
Operator:          'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:               'No..'
Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller:               'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator:          'Dark?'
Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
                          coming in from the window.'
Operator:          'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:               'I can't.'
Operator:          'No? Why not?'
Caller:              'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:           'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it  
                           licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and 
                           packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller:                'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator:           'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it 
                           up just like it was when you got it.
 Then take it back to
                           the store you bought it from.'
Caller:                'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:           'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:                'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:           'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

Have a great weekend everyone


lilian said...

really like what you have done. The ATC is great, The F F are really funny. Like the last one mate,


SARN said...

Yep . . . you came up trumps with the ATC materials AGAIN Kathy. Total star.

Chuckled at the Friday Funnies . . . that last one defies belief doesn't it?

Hugs, Sarn xxx

Debs M said...

well done on the atc! great ff x

Pat said...

I love the ATC you made with the materials sent to you Kathy, that dimensional flower is really pretty. I love the Friday funnies too, especially the last one...can that really be true? That defies belief. x

Lin said...

Your ATC is darling, Kathy - thanks for explaining your process. But I must admit that reading your call center conversations made my morning. Thanks so much for the laughs! I'm so glad you shared with us at the Simon Says Stamp Wednesday challenge!

Julie Gearinger said...

What a wonderful Mixed Media project! Love the background as well as the flower and thanks for the laugh with the Friday Funnies!! So thrilled that you joined us at the ODBD Shining the Light Challenge- hugs and have a blessed weekend!

Diane said...

What a wonderful technique for your ATC design Kathy.

Hugs Diane

Di said...

Fabulous ATC Kathy! I love how you muted the background too.

Giggled at the Funnies, esp. that last one!


Di xx

Angela Radford said...

Thank you for sharing this lovely layered ATC with us at Crafty Cardmakers and good luck with the challenge. Angela x

Pamela said...

Great card Kathy, love the background.
Thank you for joining us at Crafting from the Heart.

Pam x

Angela B said...

That background looks amazing! Love this design! Thank you so much for entering the Anything Goes challenge at Through The Craft Room Door this week. Looking forward to see you again next challenge.
Happy crafting,
Taste Of Craftiness {My Blog}
Through The Craft Room Door

Chris Olsen, Glowbug said...

What beautiful colors on your background as well as the flowers. Beautiful mixed media project! Thanks so much for joining the Shining the Light challenge at ODBD! Have a blessed evening and week!!